Sun 25 Apr 2010
40 Days
Posted by Lauren under Uncategorized
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I knew the 40 days of Lent would be difficult. I really love carbonated drinks, and so I do drink a lot of soda day to day. I also will drink coffee and alcohol socially.
In fact, I love soda so much I have a glass bottle collection from all the international carbonated beverages I pick up at international food stores and on travels through the country.
I knew that choosing to only drink water would be mildly distasteful to me: I also absolutely hate the chlorinated taste of public water. And I drink bottled water as little as possible due to the waste of resources/energy involved in its production – besides the fact that it’s often tap water from elsewhere – I might as well drink my own! (Needless to say I am often dehydrated by the mere finickiness I exhibit in beverage choice.)
Plus, I had decided to only drink the water available to me – so no bottled water from the store and no club soda. I found out that my workplace has its own well water, and that I like drinking it out of a metal bottle. I also found out that I don’t taste the chlorine as much in the public water in my house if I’m really thirsty and gulp it down without smelling it. Otherwise, I have to draw some water and then let it sit to let the chlorine dissipate.
Physical side effects? Although in the past I had fooled myself into thinking I was not truly addicted to soda and tea, I did have a few headaches in the first week or so.
Really tempted? Yes, but despite the taunting of the half-finished juice container, the chilling beers and champagne each time I opened my refrigerator, and the faint call of my name from the Starbucks counter each time I was in Target, I drank only water.
The tally of beverages given up did become harder to maintain because I had to answer certain questions, like how do you tally a tea offered to you by your friend, or a mug of coffee offered by your brother at his house? I set monetary values on those declined beverages and was very meticulous for the first three to four weeks. But as time went by, it was less difficult to choose water over soda/coffee/tea/alcohol and so the number of drinks I was passing over for water simultaneously declined. So if I was not so good at tallying my drinks denied, a rough extrapolation from the first three-four weeks gave me a good idea of what to give.
Consequences? I was an inner whiner – two weeks in, I was wondering what the purpose was of this daily decision to only drink water, in fact, I even began to question the whole idea of Lenten devotion. But being stubborn, I stuck with it. I knew it had to be better for my body than all the sugar and caffeine I’d been loading it with. And although I felt like a wimp, being cheated by the fast food industry when ordering and paying for tap water instead of a refillable soda at a burger/chicken/sandwich joint, I also did not act like a fool on March 17, but was the DD.
Plus, the idea of fasting was one I really struggled with during those 40 days. I just didn’t get it! Why deny myself?, I asked. Not in the selfish, I-deserve-better way, but more like, what is the purpose, other than a really unique way to contribute to an important cause? I puzzled over it with every drink I denied. I grew frustrated and began to feel alone, in the wilderness. I began to feel like I wasn’t supported by anyone in particular – while simultaneously telling myself ‘that is ridiculous, you’re surrounded by a huge number of supportive people – at church, by your family, your friends at work, and your roommate!’ So eventually I let it go, deciding to cling to God, His love, and the knowledge that He is constant (solid facts). This continued until Easter, when the church celebrated the greatest gift God ever gave us. With the end of my fast, I let go of the puzzle and other things began to take over my life – a car in the shop, stomach ulcers, social events, and general housework. Until today, when everything clicked into place with this morning’s old testament reading from Isaiah!
Isaiah 58:5-8 -
5 Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
only a day for a man to humble himself?
Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed
and for lying on sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
a day acceptable to the LORD ?6 “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness [a] will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
Whoa! God’s actually kinda anti-fasting in a fasting-for-appearances,-or-mere-self-denial-type way! How can you praise God through causing yourself misery? Yes, I do understand that there are times and seasons for self-denial and repentance, and you can meet God there. But that wasn’t the purpose of this effort. That wasn’t where I was trying to go – I was trying to raise money and testing myself a little, and I was feeling all-around purposeless.
Aha! Through this verse it is easy for me to see that the result was the purpose for the fast, that aiding others is a true fast, and favorable to God. And that’s only part of what I learned today! But I’ll continue with that in the next post, because I want to finish debriefing on the 40 days of water…
I would also like to say that these 40 days have also been a real accomplishment for me – by giving me a reason to talk about my faith, but more importantly, the desperate need that can be so easily met by giving people. Though typically outgoing, I am not a confident person and am nearly afraid to be non-PC when talking about my own faith; for me, my passion regarding world thirst, hunger, and social justice is all bound up in my faith and this gave me the opportunity to educate others on world needs and more fully, socially, embrace my own beliefs.
The visual facts that were created by popesaintvictor, were amazing. The combination of their interesting design and compelling factual nature were put to use by incorporating them into my slideshow desktop (Windows 7). Coworkers would ask, “what’s that?” when a part of it showed on my screen beneath my work, and I would cycle through the facts to date, giving me an opening to talk about what’s really going on in the world, outside our town, state, or country, and what a pull unimproved water conditions in lesser developed countries has on my heart – with solid facts and honest pictures.
That was my secret mission – something that seemed at first a complex mass of goals, but was really only three: 1) educate others about humanity’s needs, 2) to not deny my faith but admit that this was my Lenten devotion, and 3) to be very careful that my declaration to renounce all beverages other than water and the accompanying tallying and donating, did not develop into a boasting. Always cautiously gauging the other’s reaction, my effort was focused on primarily sharing a fact or more about the water needs around the world, and then if time, friendship, or interest allowed, connecting it to my Lenten devotion and from there noting that mere sacrifice of a luxury, while certainly something, might be better replaced by taking up something affirming– hence the tallying and donation.
All in all, a good experiment, a happy donation, and a wonderful gorging on soda and coffee during the usual familial Easter celebrations!