Ok, so a couple of weeks ago the five-year plan was 3 years of MES, 3 years Peace Corps = my future in nonprofit international development is set.

Problem is, I’m not sure if that’s where I’m headed. I mean, yes, the 3 years here at MES is pretty solid, but…I don’t know. I keep thinking about seminary. I keep thinking about how everyone is so inspiring and meeting their goals and making their dreams come true. Sarah G., Sarah D., Katelin, Morgan. and they’re not afraid to take the next step. Step out on faith, Danielle said. and I do.

However, I’m feeling out the path. I feel like Indiana Jones when he scatters dirt on an invisible stone bridge across a chasm. Although I don’t feel like I’m about to plunge off the side, I’m very cautious in being certain that this is the path I keep praying about. The one that is laid out for me. I know that I’ll know when the next door is opened because I’ve walked through it each time I feel it opening. Even if it seems backwards. I want to be like Samuel and pray constantly, “Here I am.” I am so thankful that I have walked through it each time, and I apologize if I am too hasty in looking for the next one, but Lord – people are dying! Not that he doesn’t know – why else would He ask us to feed His lambs? So yes, there is a sense of urgency, and maybe a little wild searching. I won’t stop searching. Today I’m going to an open house for prospective graduate students, an open house that only has those institutions with the degree programs I’m interested in. (www.apsia.org)

Which brings me to my next five-year plan. Keep working at MES and get a graduate degree. Once I am Lauren, M.A. (or whatever), I will apply for the Fulbright and GO! Sounds good, right? Haha, we’ll see what the next revision is in like, 2 weeks, probably.

One thing I wish I could do is just drop everything and run to NYC and volunteer for charity:water . Or maybe head south for blood:water mission. And that’s another thing. Charity:water’s website is so visually striking that I begin to think about my talents – don’t waste them, grow them, right? – specifically that of photography. So tonight I’m also looking into a Professional Photography Certificate Program that would give me a lot of professional training and improve my photography skillz. I won’t throw away photography like I kinda did my writing. (A seed-like talent I have allowed to fall into a rocky patch; and one which takes me down paths of rebuke when I try to grow it.)

So yeah, that’s the latest.