Wow, so although I’m very excited for Halloween – I have two costumes in mind to wear at two different times (one work-appropriate, one good for going out in B-more) – I’m sure you’ll see pictures in Nov – I am soooo ready for Christmas! (Haha, yeah – just skip Thanksgiving completely.) Which makes me very happy. Although I’m perennially and perpetually excited about the fact that our savior was born and is, it has been quite a few years since I was excited for the holiday season, excepting the year I explored culture differences and similarities during said season in Europe – which was actually pretty darn cool and always brings a smile of recollection to my face. Oh my gosh, and I just remembered the existence of EGG NOG! Yes! Love it.

Partially I think my enthusiasm results from this week’s unending rain, surprisingly enough. It’s like, in for a penny, in for a pound. I’m ready for snow! And the winter wonderland! It’s already necessary to warm up the car and put the heater on full ‘red’ and number 2, so it’s not too far from the depths of winter for me. I haven’t yet pulled out the winter coat and I’m still resisting scarves, but I’m emotionally ready to handle winter’s cold. I think. Typically I struggle to stay warm all day and spent most of the night keeping an inch away from shivering. But I now have a space heater! And I’m so ready for carols, and decorations steeped in family history and tradition. (My abs fav parts of the season.) I’m even looking into gifts.

Despite the desperate temporal distance between myself and a home of my own, I feel quite excited to celebrate at the ol’ family home all season long. Maybe this is accounted for through the fact that my brother, sister and niece live 3 mi away, for the first time ever! I’m pretty happy.

The other reason why I think I’m so happy is that for the first season in many years I am not 1) stressing about SATs or getting into college, 2) stressing about being in college and multiple exams, or 3) sinking deeper in debt and struggling to get a job. I finally have a job and despite a multitude of worries about where my life is heading (in terms of answering my call, staying in touch with the many people that matter so much to me, and deciding/investigating where my money is going to) I feel secure and peaceful, able to enjoy each day and sustained to continue seeking how to work out those things. And strangely (or not) I feel good.

This is not to say that I have days (pretty much every other) where I am stressed beyond belief at the thought of the unknown – where is my career going? when will I travel extensively again (Europe and the fav states rank high here)? what grad school should I go to? when will I go to grad school? will I have enough money to go to grad school? will it ever be financially feasible to leave my mom’s house? would she be financially ok if I did? when will all my material possessions be organized so that I feel free to get rid of them/finish my many projects? when can I get to see my college friends J.Rose, Vanessa, Morgan, Elisabeth, Sarah etc again? where is my money going? can I go to France next year? should I get a technical photography certificate at CDIA? how can I help my ankle heal so that I won’t injure it again? when can I resume cardio workouts and lose the ridiculous lbs I’ve gained since senior year in college? when will I fit in my clothes again? when do I have time to study film noir for fun? when do I have time to make my brother, Ebeth, Emily, and my coworkers their promised mixes? and more.

Haha, I’ll probably add to this post when I think of all my other constant questions. But those are the ’simple’ ones on my mind at the moment.

And yes, despite these, there is a creeping, swelling sensation of excitement for the holiday season. YAY!